On(line) Generosity

I've been involved with online social networks since 2006 and over the years I have continually been struck by the generosity of the people I've met.

In the "early days" I was heavily involved in YouTube. When it became clear that the people I watched  (nalts, nutcheese, zipster08, mugglesam, etc.) actually got together and met in real life (there was video proving it!) I was - quite honestly - shocked. This stuff, these people, exist.

I became involved by commenting on and responding to videos created by people who interested me. In this way I was able to meet (many in real life) the people I most admired. We worked together on "collabs" (video collaborations) and created entire birthday channels for our friends. We raised money for causes we felt were important. We met in real life and made videos... or just hung out. It was a lot of fun.

Through it all what struck me was the generosity of the people I met. Not only were they freely giving of their time (filming, editing, etc) but they also provided unbiased personal support. There were real connections.

Transitioning to facebook and twitter happened when my friends from YouTube began experimenting outside the video box. I joined the convoy and started up my own accounts. We stayed together as a group. Following and friending each other, some of us spending more time tweeting then filming (me for instance) but we kept up with each other's lives in the same way that one does with an office-mate or neighbor. Mostly we became - continued to be - friends.

Twitter, for me, has been even more fruitful. I follow 1300 people and there is some percentage (maybe 10%?) that I know in real life. The communities or (as Shel Israel calls it in his book Twitterville) neighborhoods I joined were varied. Yes, there were YouTubers, but there was also geographically local businesses and people; mommy bloggers sucked me in; and then Tech News in general. Within each of these 'hoods were individual tweeters with whom I truly connected, befriended, and even dated.

Once again, the generosity of these people never fails to floor me. They take time to answer questions, offer advice and are the biggest cheerleaders when support is needed. And all that is from their hearts. My communities are equally as generous with physical things. When I lamented to twitter that I couldn't afford to buy Joe a DS for Chanukah a DM appeared saying, "hey, I have a DS I never use and would LOVE to give it to Joe." When I complained one morning about not having coffee, a peets gift card arrived in my email. A friend - who I know from YouTube and met once, briefly - saw my tweet "with all the iPad contests I've entered, you'd think I'd have won one by now." Guess what came in the post last month? Yeah. And these are only some examples.

I try to be generous also - retweeting, commenting, pointing, supporting, connecting. I don't have money or goods, but I do what I can because it makes me feel good and it will make me feel better if I can help them succeed.

What is it about my online communities that makes them so giving? Is it unique to the people with whom I choose to befriend? Or does generosity somehow feel better online than off? I'm curious if others have experienced this and to what, if anything, it might be attributed. Have there been studies done on this? (I'm not kidding!) Could it be an anthropological phenomenon? Or do I just have awesome friends?
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FOLLOW UP:
This blog posts to facebook in the "notes" section and I get more conversation over there than here. One of my friends posted the following comment (copied here with her consent) and I think she makes some excellent points. Milo is her 10 year old son.

It is my personal belief that I would have lost my mind with Milo's Duchenne diagnosis, if it weren't for all the amazing women I have met who see me through every day. I do think some things are easier online. In real life, I am often struck by the divide of politics, or class, or midwest vs coast, or some nervous tic someone has that drives me away. Online we can hone our focus and look at just the one connection closely without being hindered by the petty reasons to disconnect. I live by the emotional support I get from other Duchenne moms.

Sadly, and probably more obviously, the lack of any social normative sense of politeness (the kind where you have to face one another) means some people mistreat each other easier too, as I have found in more than one occasion of total flaming and shunning because of a slight difference of opinion.

For me, it's both a haven and a pit of snakes and figuring out the difference is the key.

Wordle Experiment

I'm working on a magazine project for a client and they requested a "wordle" for the front cover. After exploring the wordle site a bit I thought it would be fun to make a wordle from this blog. Here it is:


I find it interesting that the largest (ie most used words) are home, house, family and two. (Two? Maybe I speak about my two kids a lot? Kids is pretty big too.)

How much will my wordle change when I make one from this blog in 3 months? Six months? A year from now? The wordle reflects my life, or at least the life that I record here. It's content, shape and emphasis will morph as I move forward. An experiment: create a wordle from your blog or twitter stream every three months. See where it leads, and what it says - both literally and figuratively - about you.

I'm game. How about you?

Michael Jackson Eats Iran

Those of you that know me understand that I monitor much of my world through twitter. (See sidebar for my twitter feed.) I communicate with friends (both virtual and IRL folks), promote my blog, youtube channels and business and get virtually all my news through twitter.

This past week I witnessed twitter become "the" go-to source for breaking news and first-hand accounts of the atrocities happening in Iran. My feed pointed to YouTube videos that provided witness to the carnage and violence in the region. There were riots, marches, stone throwing, gassing and shooting -- right there for the world to view. We saw Neda Agha Soltan shot in the heart and die on camera while her father desperately screamed "Neda, don't be afraid. Stay with me Neda." Beyond words; beyond heartbreaking.

And so all was a-twitter with the news coming out of Iran. It seemed like everyone was coloring their avatars green (in a show of solidarity). My "followers" brainstormed about how the world could help. We agonized together about our inability to come up with solutions. We fantasized about how it might end.

But today, when I logged on and found that Farrah Fawcett was the top trending topic I wasn't necessarily surprised - after all, she'd just passed away after a long battle with cancer. She was an American idol. She shared the column with #iranelection and #neda and the news from Iran continued.

But sometime after 1pm tweets started coming in about the (alleged) death of Michael Jackson. The rumors flew: he was dead, he was in a coma, he committed suicide... finally confirmation of death and then the tribute blips started, video tributes, fascination with death coming in threes (Ed McMahon, Farrah and MJ). It didn't stop. And then it rolled into ridiculousness as tweets popped up about Jeff Goldblum's apparent "plunge to death" while filming in New Zealand. Kevin Spacey finally put an end to that one ... but everyone was so busy with celebrities dying that trending topics swallowed up and digested any news about Iran.

I pleaded in my tweets:

two icons. one day. 7/25/09. Now lets get back to figuring out how to help Iran. Please. #iranelection

Iran has completely fallen off the trending topics list. In the coming year what will touch ur life more: MJ or Iran. Come on folks. Please.

RT: @p_sullyRT RT @kensands: Most significant death of the week? U decide: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Neda Agha Soltan.

Thankfully, I was retweeted, and my feed started bringing thoughts on Iran back. Slowly, tentatively, #iranelection has snuck up to the bottom of Trending Topics. There it sits... like an afterthought.

I remain disillusioned and bitter. How could the world - at least my twitter world - be so incredibly shallow? Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett are dead. It's really sad. My heart goes out to their friends and family. But honestly, their deaths do not make much of a difference in my life or the lives of my children. The revolution happening in Iran, however, could change not just Iran, but also the world ... it may very well continue to be meaningful and relevant to our lives for years.

I leave you with this haunting video by Arian Saleh. Please show your support for his amazing talent by subscribing to his YouTube channel HERE (Warning: graphic images)

Mr. President's Address to the Nation

Let me start by saying I watched Obama's address streaming on CNN.com in partnership with Facebook which in itself, blows me away. Before he even began speaking I was watching opinions, hopes and dreams steadily dropping in on the status bar. On my blackberry, I was twittering with my "twibe" who I've shared thoughtful 140 character exchanges with during the debates, election, inauguration, and now this, Obama's first presidential address. The whole experience made me feel like the future had come and change is imminent - a sentiment that parallels the President's campaign message.

So it was with high hopes that I listened as he began his speech. Let there be no mistake, Barack Obama is an eloquent gifted speaker. He charmed us all - right off - by acknowledging his wife, the First Lady of the United States. He rolled beautifully from one topic to the next - pausing for each and every standing ovation (of which there were FAR too many.) But I was put off by his "ole boys'" banter in proclaiming that "nobody messes with Joe!" and it concerned me that there was no mention of the troops recently sent to Afghanistan.

When he was finished, CNN let the cameras roll with raw audio streaming as they followed him through the crowd. I read last week that Obama is more famous right now than Jesus, and indeed, it did seem like people just wanted to TOUCH him. Needed to feel his solidity, make sure he was real.

So, good? Bad? I'm a bit disappointed by the address. I was hoping for more answers and explanations. On the other hand he was a pleasure to behold. A man suited to lead. I remain positive and hopeful that he can reunite the country and ignite a spirit of solidarity and community service. We are, after all, in it together.