Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Two Phases of Understanding

Tonight, while tucking the kids in, we were chatting, as usual. Maia was having a hard time settling into bed. She said (whined), "oh... Mommy, when I'm with Daddy I miss you and when I'm with you I miss Daddy. I want you BOTH." Maia is 4. Her dad and I have been separated since she was two and a half so she doesn't really remember the four of us as a unit. But she DOES understand - and tonight was able to put into words of the first time - that she loves us both and wants us together. This comprehension of the nature of divorce is new and self-learned. It makes me sad. It would make me sadder if Joe didn't respond the way he did.

The 9 year old - who has always maintained his hatred of the divorce and its inane wrongness - said to his little sister, "divorce may not be happy for me or for you, but mommy is happier and that makes me glad."

Holy. F*cking. Sh*t.

My boy just forgave me. Not that I need to be forgiven. But if he WAS blaming me (and given that his dad told him that the I left the family on my own accord, I believe he did blame me) then he just then, in that moment, that sentence - that lesson to his sister - forgave me. He showed such immense empathy and compassion that I could do nothing but break down in tears and tell him thank you. He understood the significance because he hugged me tight and told me he loved me.

That boy of mine.
He is an old soul and I admire him.
We're gonna be ok. And Maia is damn lucky to have such and awesome big brother.


  1. That is the sweetest story I've heard in a long long time...but having met Joseph it's not surprising he's a sweet young boy and will grow into a fine young man.. love you darling..

  2. with what i know of you i am not surprised that you have such a son =)
    they are both lucky imo - they have you as a mom


  3. Awww. Wise beyond his years for sure. Touching story.


  4. That was so beautiful - I actually teared reading that.

    I love your family.

  5. What a mature son you have. I'm so happy for you three :)

    and moses!

  6. Joe!!!!!!!!!! go Joe!!!!!!!!!!

    and go cori. wow.

  7. This brought tears to my eyes.

    Theo was in utero when I left his dad, so he will never have that understanding. I do hope, though, that he will forgive me for it one day.


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