On Camera

For the past three months I've been learning how to create tablet publications for both iPad and Android devices. I happen to love reading magazines on the iPad - Wired is my favorite - so having the opportunity to add this to my arsenal of skills was incredibly appealing. Now–thanks to backing from one of my favorite clients, CUE, software created by Mag+, and a lot of hours of trial and error – I'm just about ready to publish the first OnCUE Quarterly journal to the Mac Newstand.

Last week also happened to be the annual CUE Conference in Palm Springs. I've been designing the conference collateral for six years but 2012 marks my first time attending. While there I was interviewed about the design process and the forthcoming OnCUE+ by CUE Live. You'll note that I seem a little uncomfortable and Maia asked why I say "um" so much, but at least I don't completely humiliate myself. Towards the end you'll see me smile and wave. That was because the CUE Executive Director walked by and I thought I'd say "hey." Forgot I was on camera. Dumb, huh?

Clearly I need to work a bit on my public speaking skills... but honestly, I'd rather spend my time making tablet publications. It's rewarding.

Sex Education

"Ahhhhhh! There is blood on the toilet seat!" Joe screamed, running out of the bathroom.

"Oh, shoot, I'm sorry, I have my period and must have had an accident. I'll clean it up."

He looks at me, my baffled 10 year old and says, "you bleed when you have your period? I thought you were just super grumpy."

I'd had the talk about sex and reproduction with Joe, in fact, it's not been a taboo subject in my household at all (as illustrated by my response to his disgust), so I looked back at him - just as baffled - and said "let me explain it again."

I drew the ovaries and the fallopian tubes and the uterus and the vagina and explained how every month an egg is released and travels to the uterus and if it's not fertilized by a sperm it needs to come out an that is a period. Every woman has one. "Some of your friends at school probably already have it. I got mine when I was 9 ...."

"So are you saying that Maia will get her period someday?" he asked.

"Yes." Someday his baby sister would, indeed, get her period.

He responded, "So you're saying you will BOTH have your periods and you will BOTH be super grumpy every month?"

And that is how I knew my boy had become a man.

Just Like That

While cleaning my office this week I came across a story that my son Joe wrote last year. I think it's worth sharing - particularly since he turned 11 last week.

Just Like That

by Joe Kesler

Hi, you'll probably need to know a little bit about me before I tell you my story. Well, I live in Berkeley, CA. I have a dog named Mo, and I'm eight years old. Oh, and my birthday is in nine days. Right now we are picking my grandparents up from the airport. My Grandpa is pretty nice, but likes to play jokes. Once he bought a fart machine and it started making some really nasty sounds! Who knows what he'll whip up this time! My Grandma is sweet, but a little too over protective. She always makes me wear a jacket and is constantly asking if I'm hungry. Oh look, There they are! Time for hugs and kisses!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Joe, happy birthday daaaaay toooo yoooouuuu. Now and forever I'm officially nine.

It's crazy. Just like that. I'm nine. nothing changed. I sat down deep in my own thoughts, not even listening to the whoopee cushion my grandpa had deployed. Just like that. I thought that when I turned nine I would be big and strong and ... You know what? None of that matters, the only thing that matters is that I'm happy! And I am big, I am strong ... in my heart .... Just like that.

Joe on his eleventh birthday.

Letter from Abroad

A good friend of mine has moved (temporarily I hope) to Thailand and he sent me this letter and photograph today. It is charming so I thought I would share it here.

This clan is fixing my first meal of the day pretty much since I moved into this apartment. They run a little street kitchen about a half block from my place. The lady on right makes the coffee, the two on the left do the cooking, and the guy waits the tables, or rather, the one table.

It has taken me five days to get through to them what I want.  The first day I ate there I saw them serve a basil chicken over rice with a beaten and fried egg on the side.  I wasn't fast enough to point to it and say, I want that.  The first time I tried to order it I got fried rice with egg and chicken all mixed together.  The second day I got them to keep the egg separate but It wasn't scrambled.  The third day I got the egg separate and scrambled but still the fried rice. Finally, today I got the scrambled egg on the side with plain rice and basil chicken on top.  Fortunately it has all been tasty.  

When I asked if I could take their picture today they were really happy to oblige.  Only the coffee lady seemed a little shy, perhaps uncertain that I wanted her in the photo. But when I waved her over she lit up and jumped right in with the others.

Relatively Maternal

A couple of weeks ago I had the good fortune to be in NYC and saw the Broadway production of Relatively Speaking. The show is a collection of one-act plays written by Ethan Coen, Elaine May and Woody Allen with Direction by John Turturro. Actors include Marlo Thomas, Julie Kavner and Steve Guttenberg ... wow.

Naturally I walked into the theater with expectation of being royally regaled. I was not disappointed. However I was completely taken off guard by the force of emotion that railed through me during the second performance. The PR blurb states "In George is Dead, Elaine May explores the hilarity of death" and that is what I expected. 

But that's not what I got.

Marlo Thomas (a hero of mine from days of That Girl and Free to be You and Me) doesn't disappoint as the incredibly spoiled socialite and suddenly widowed Doreen. But the real star is Lisa Emery who plays Carla Kerns, a frazzled woman desperately trying to make everyone happy - all to her own detriment. 

The story is doled out slowly, delicately, and then, shocking in its revelation of how these characters are related. It is not at all about the "hilarity of death" and I wonder how or why Elaine May allowed those words to describe her work.

In fact, George Is Dead isn't about death at all. It IS about a middle aged woman's desperate, and ultimately fruitless, quest for maternal approval. Her crusade is so encompassing that it destroys her marriage, career and self confidence. The failures are hers.

I sobbed after that play. Couldn't catch my breath. People stared. I didn't care. 

What does that say about me?

The Homeless Man

Every day when I take the kids to school we walk by a homeless man sitting in his wheelchair holding out a paper cup. I never give him money. I don't have any to spare.

Yesterday I spontaneously stopped and said, "I'm sorry, I walk by you every day and I never give you money. I wish I could, but I was barely able to pay my rent this month."

He said "Oh NO your family comes first! What's your name, I'm Walter."

So I shook his glove-covered hand and introduced myself.

"Cori," he said, "someday I hope to be in a position to help you. Yeah, I'd like to help you. Have a wonderful day."

And I did. 

So he did.

A Flaw in The Golden Rule

Yesterday I wrote about my 2012 resolution to be kind and I claimed The Golden Rule as my definition of kindness.

I'm wrong.

The Golden Rule (in all it's incarnations) asks you to do to other as you'd like them to do to you. In its simplest form this can be beautiful – a well-meant smile or a sincere compliment – but the phrase itself is selfish. Who's to say if others want to be treated the way you like. For example, some women think that a gentleman should open the door for her and others accuse the act as a statement of implied weakness.

Kindness and The Golden Rule, I've decided, are not interchangeable. Instead, kindness – in the deeper sense than general politeness – means to do to others as they'd like you to do to them. It means looking beyond yourself and standing - as best you can - in their shoes. Respect the person to whom you are communicating by having due regard for their feelings, wishes, rights, and traditions.

Maybe you're the kind of person that welcomes a warm hug as a greeting; others don't. If you know someone isn't a touchy person, greet them with a smile and (if you must) a pat on the shoulder. A mundane example perhaps, but it illustrates my point.

And so I revoke The Golden Rule as a definition of kindness and place in its stead politeness and respect. My revised 2012 resolution.