It's Not the Universe; It's the Machine

With two kids in tow, the two most difficult times of day for me are (1) getting out the door in the morning for school and (2) completing the evening routine by 8:30 pm - bedtime. When these things are accomplished it like... well, it's as if all the stars have aligned themselves in perfect order and the universe is moving forward with me gliding effortless on its wings. Beautiful.

It happened like that today. By 7:30 am they were dressed, fed and brushed. They killed time watching Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for 20 minutes until it was time to go. There were no fights. No yelling "hurry up! We're gonna be late." It was calm.

In the evening we had a simple pasta dinner and they played monopoly while I cleaned up. For a while we hung out in my bedroom, looking at knitting books - deciding what to make for their forthcoming cousin. Joe did his homework; Maia complained that she didn't have any. We all had a little laugh.

Bedtime stories, kisses, hugs, goodnight.

I look at my watch and it's 8:20. Did this really happen? Did we have good morning AND a good night? All on the same day? Well, that is something to blog about.

Fact of the matter is, it's not magic. It's not even the universe aligning itself with my aura. It's me learning how to make it work.

We weren't rushed in the morning because I'd made lunches the night before. Clothes had been washed so there was no searching for matching socks or a pair of clean underwear. The fridge was full of fresh fruits, vegis and the frozen pancakes they like for breakfast. Everything was EASY because I was prepared.

Same for tonight. Mondays are difficult - it's the first day back at school (and today was the first day back from two week holiday!) - so I made pasta. Everyone likes it. No one complains. It's easy on all of us. Often, after dinner, they'll watch a video on my laptop, but tonight they surprised me by pulling out the Monopoly board and engaging in old fashioned board game fun. Kind of shocking actually. I spent the time knitting. Knitting!

They got in their pajamas without complaint because they were tired. We read a couple of stories and turned off the lights. I closed their door at 8:20. Wow.

Naturally, I spent the next hour preparing for tomorrow morning - doing dishes, making lunches, folding laundry, taking kitchen inventory and planning what to cook for supper.

It all takes effort, but when it works, it's like a well oiled machine. Soooo smooth. *muah*

The Best Worst Year of My LIfe

Someone I follow on twitter posted that 2009 was the close of the best worst year of her life. I keep thinking about that tweet and how true it is for me.

My decision to pursue a divorce came at the end of 2008. The house was sold at the beginning of 2009 and we moved into separate residences. The entire year has been one of transition: learning to be a working single mom of two and navigate the world from a different perspective.

The fact of the matter is that it's been hard as hell. Probably the most difficult year of my life. But here's the thing - commitment to the transition was the best decision I've ever made. And it's done. I did it.

If 2009 was the year of transition, then the #themeword of 2010 promises to be one of momentum. Growing my business, pursuing neglected projects; building relationships... moving forward. Full steam ahead.

My Droid is Pink

I made a small contribution to the blog DROIDIE.
Check it out here.

10 Things I Learned from "Up in the Air"

I've seen more movies in the last four weeks than the 11 months prior put together. So, here is another "review."

Up in the Air is one of those movies that I didn't know much about going in. Furthermore, I wasn't expecting much because as far as I could tell it wasn't about blowing up buildings, the end of the world or romancing an alien; but might measure up to a television "movie of the week" type thing.

I was wildly surprised. The film is rich in detail and beautifully constructed. The characters are well developed and and the acting is superb. The stories are huge... and there are so many of them. I came out of the theater having learned stuff. What, exactly? A list in no particular order:

1. on-line communication is not a substitute for face to face connection
2. unscheduled visits never go well
3. lists of character traits essential in a partner are sort of meaningless
4. sext messaging isn't just for teenagers
5. what feels right to you may not feel right to others
6. don't get sucked into the naive enthusiasm of youth
7. never assume
8. family is thick
9. never stand behind parents with small children in an airport security queue
10. we all die alone

Obligatory Avatar Review

I saw Avatar in IMAX 3d a couple of days ago and, because it's all the buzz at the moment, I feel compelled to write about it.

The story line, from start to finish, is EVER predictable: protagonist is given a "second chance" at life and embarks on and adventure. He trains and learns and experiences and finally confronts an obstacle - an enemy - and fights for "right." Just as you think all hope is lost and the villain is about to win, the protagonist comes in from behind and saves the day.

That said, the artistry of the film was stunning. Serious work went into inventing a world that seemed truly organic. From it's wildlife and foliage to the way natives worshiped their deity - it was well thought out and beautiful in a way that went beyond aesthetics.

There was so much potential.

I think Joe (he'll be 9 in February) will enjoy the film. It's simple enough - like Star Wars or Indiana Jones films - that he can look beyond the redundancies of the story line and revel in the planet they present. The 3D enhancement will impress him even more - and rightly so: it feels like you're right there in the forest. It's quite amazing actually.

Maybe I'm jaded. I like less predictable films.
But that's just me.

Did you see the film? What did you think?

P.S. As a graphic designer I would be remiss not to point out my utter shock at seeing the font "Papyrus" used for subtitles. This was a $250million dollar project. They could have splurged and hired someone to make them an original... Sheesh.

Ballerina Maia

Maia gave her first ballet recital yesterday.

Couple-Friends

It started with an innocent facebook page post:

Hey you! I saw your son at the climbing gym today. I said hi, but I'm not sure he recognized me. He bend his head to the side, said hi, and then went running off with his friend. :)

The fellow who posted the comment is one half of a couple who my ex and I socialize with when we were married. Like many "couple-friends," there was awkwardness upon the dissolution of our marriage. I stopped hanging out with them so much... no hard feelings. Just how it goes sometimes.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I received an invitation to their yearly "Pajama Cookie Party" via evite. I hadn't responded so I took this opportunity to post on my friend's facebook page:

How are you guys? Thanks for the invite to the cookie party. Gonna have to decline this year but I'd love to see you guys. Joe's friend's dad works at the climbing gym so he is there a lot. :)

His response is what floored me:

We are great! Sorry to hear you will miss the cookie party. You were the early favorite to win the pajama award in the adult category. Hope to see you sometime soon.

HUH? The adult category? Did he think that I'd show up in a negligee ? (As opposed the the flannel panda pajamas I wore a couple years ago.) And why did he think I'd show up in such an outfit? Cause I'm single? Or was he flirting? Which is also unacceptable seeing how he's married and all. What the f*ck?

Several friends have told me I'm being too sensitive. That he didn't mean anything and was trying to be flattering. He failed cause men fail at these types of things.

But I'm kind of hurt and insulted. I wonder if it's how our other couple-friends view me as well. If that is why they've stop socializing with me.

Do you think I'm overreacting? What are your views?