Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Putting the Proven Before the Potential

Yesterday, without much fanfare or ceremony, I disabled my account on xyz dating site. I texted two (of the dozen fellows I'd met) to let them know how to reach me if they wanted, and that was it. Done.

I'm now relieved from cruising the site, searching for potential matches, refining my profile, fielding emails, and vetting "visitors." The time I've spent on awkward first dates (and the rare second), cursing the "three day rule" and hoping for an encouraging text message can be spent, instead, nurturing the relationships that already exist.

There are several friends I've been neglecting. People I've known for years who I'm not making an effort to see because I'm too busy trying to find a date. a mate. a partner. And that's not OK.

My aim now is to enrich the relationships that exist. Putting the same time and energy into these viable and proven friendships that I've funneled into online dating will, I think, result in sweeter fruit. These are the people who know me best, love me and want to see me succeed. They're the ones I want to cheer on and support. They're the ones I need in my life right now.

And I'm very lucky to have them.