Jenna (a graphic designer) volunteered to design the program for the funeral service and was able to complete it a night before she went to the hospital. Prepping for surgery should not include this sort of activity, but no one plans for death, and certainly nothing as unthinkable as this.
The funeral was on Sunday so, three days after her surgery, Jenna was sitting in the front of the sanctuary with her husband, while I stayed in the back of the room, sitting quietly with her boys.
"Let us not grieve that Lillian is gone, but celebrate that she was here. Look around this room, see how many lives she has touched in her short time with us."
Indeed, the room was full of people. Of course, I knew very few of them, and many (like me) had never even met Lillian. But we were all in tears by the end of the slide show that was meant to celebrate her life.
Later, at the reception, I heard Jenna say to her cousin, "I know what it's like to have everything be one way one moment and then totally different the next. Please let me know if you'd like to talk." Of course, the "moment" Jenna referred to was the one where the doctor told her "you have cancer." Those words spoken in that moment changed everything for her.
I'm grateful in my life to have not had such a moment (knock wood). Of course this is not to say that change hasn't happened. It has - but my "moments" have been longer - allowing space to adjust and become, eventually, comfortable. This, I've learned, is a luxury.
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My friend Erin Vang has just completed an amazing project called Kaddish in Two Part Harmony and she has dedicated this beautiful Kaddish to Baby Lillian. (A Kaddish is a prayer of mourning). Erin's french horn is particularly lovely.
Translation of the Mourners Kaddish:
May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which he has created according to his will. May his Kingship be established in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire household of Israel, swiftly and in the near future; and say, Amen.
May his great name be blessed, forever and ever.
Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honored elevated and lauded be the Name of the holy one, Blessed is he- above and beyond any blessings and hymns, Praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say Amen. May there be abundant peace from Heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.
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Lillian's older sister (12) wrote this poem in honor of Lillian.
Lillian Isabel, Oct 18 - Oct 21, 2011
WE WILL ALWAYS HOLD YOU CLOSE
Lillybel, Lillybel
My oh so sweet baby
Our beautiful Lillybel
Come to us in our darkest
hour.
We showered you in love
For 13 days I held you
close.
Our sweet Lillybel
The more we cry
The more we love
It was and is all
for you.
Lillybel, Lillybel
My oh so sweet Lillybel
Our beautiful baby girl
Even if you cried
at night
Even if you need us
now
We are here for you
And you are up high for
Us
I’ll pick a star up
in the sky
Just for you
And think of you all day.
Lillybel, Lillybel
My oh so sweet Lillybel
Our beautiful baby girl
You knew no cruelty
You only knew love
We shielded you from
loss
Just to save ourselves
Now we are hugging, kissing,
loving
waiting… waiting for
you to show yourself to
us again
Lillybel, Lillybel
My oh so sweet baby girl
Our Beautiful Lillybel
Our one and only
Baby
Lillybel
-----------
In loving memory of Lillian Isabel Nelson
I dedicate this poem to you
Your always loving Big Sister
that is horrifying, cori. what a sad sad period to endure for all of them.
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