Saturday, December 5, 2009


It started with an innocent facebook page post:

Hey you! I saw your son at the climbing gym today. I said hi, but I'm not sure he recognized me. He bend his head to the side, said hi, and then went running off with his friend. :)

The fellow who posted the comment is one half of a couple who my ex and I socialize with when we were married. Like many "couple-friends," there was awkwardness upon the dissolution of our marriage. I stopped hanging out with them so much... no hard feelings. Just how it goes sometimes.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I received an invitation to their yearly "Pajama Cookie Party" via evite. I hadn't responded so I took this opportunity to post on my friend's facebook page:

How are you guys? Thanks for the invite to the cookie party. Gonna have to decline this year but I'd love to see you guys. Joe's friend's dad works at the climbing gym so he is there a lot. :)

His response is what floored me:

We are great! Sorry to hear you will miss the cookie party. You were the early favorite to win the pajama award in the adult category. Hope to see you sometime soon.

HUH? The adult category? Did he think that I'd show up in a negligee ? (As opposed the the flannel panda pajamas I wore a couple years ago.) And why did he think I'd show up in such an outfit? Cause I'm single? Or was he flirting? Which is also unacceptable seeing how he's married and all. What the f*ck?

Several friends have told me I'm being too sensitive. That he didn't mean anything and was trying to be flattering. He failed cause men fail at these types of things.

But I'm kind of hurt and insulted. I wonder if it's how our other couple-friends view me as well. If that is why they've stop socializing with me.

Do you think I'm overreacting? What are your views?


  1. Yes. You're overreacting. Which doesn't make you a bad person: I suspect that the pain (and attendant sensitivity) from the divorce--and your newly evolving identity as a single--is coloring your view.

    Why not err on the side of giving this friend of yours the benefit of the doubt? (And not tarring all men with the same brush? :-) )

  2. Probably a combination. Sounds like an ill-placed joke that you got over concerned about. Maybe a mild flirtation, but I wouldn't worry about that. Married guys are often awkward with single women.

  3. Consensus here and on facebook (where this blog feeds into my notes) is that I over reacted. After reading everyone's comments, I agree. It was nothing but a clumsy attempt at being friends-as Mast said in his comment-"married guys are often awkward with single women." I'll be more forgiving in the future. Thanks for reading. :-)


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