Thursday, July 2, 2009

So It Is

So the last two weeks have been challenging. If anything could go wrong, it seemed, it would. I'd like to make a list here - just to get it all out
• Woke up with ants crawling on me

• Was told that my health insurance premium would be twice as much as listed because of "preexisting conditions"

• Had a toilet clogged for four days to the extent that bowls were used for ... you get the picture

• Paid PGE to the wrong account number and had my electricity turned off

• Been told that my income and savings does not make for a strong rental applicant in the area I'd like to live (my son's school zone)

• Bumped a car while parking. The driver was in the car and asked immediately if I had insurance. When I protested there were suddenly 10 people in the street yelling at me. The word "bitch" was thrown around. I gave them my info and "ran"

• Discovered my purple bike was stolen from the backyard

• Was lied to by a close friend.
There's more, but I can't write it here. Trust me. It sucks.

So I'm feeling a bit like a punching bag. Waiting for the next blow. Bam bam bam.

Parenting, which is difficult in the best of circumstances, is extra challenging when the world seems to be crumbling. My children are wonderful. But they are kids going through a major life transition (living in two homes) and expressing their frustration in startling ways that, should probably, be expected. Sometimes they are hurtful. As much as I know they don't mean what they say, it still manages to beat me down and wear me out.

I've been trying to figure out where my bad luck - bad karma - is coming from. What did I do? Who did I hurt? What am I paying for? Have you read the book of Job lately? Sometimes there just isn't any rhyme or reason. It just IS what it IS.


  1. You will rise about it all and flourish again. I used to think; "What else could possibly happen?" I've learned that bad things happen to good people for no apparent reason what so ever, the thing to remember is; "Good things happen to good people too!" Through everything I have endured in life I finally feel like I am reaping the rewards of my life, having paid extensively for this privilege I cherish each day more then the last!

  2. I am one to hate when I am in the dumps to be handed a slew (sp?) of platitudes. In all actuality, I profane platitudes. So I won't give you any. What I will give you is this... you are not paying some Karmic debt, you have not hurt anyone except maybe yourself, and your children come from a whole different perspective than you in their actions. You are a beautiful woman, who has only one moral obligation in life, to make yourself happy. Everything else will fall into place. Taking care of your family, your health, and your life is all you can do to the best of your ability, and everything else is an illusion that you have to laugh at. You are stronger than you know.


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